The Wait will shrug

i have no idea how i got so, emotional

only one thought without randomness

in my mind, constantly, like devotional

song to a painting of weirdness..

things sometimes doesn't make sense

senses don't understand the reception

it keeps wondering whats going on, whence

you came and why are you in motion

i wait for you in nights, i was never scared

without lights, i make pillows and cared

them like its you, to make a perception

of you being closer, a beautiful conception

i know you want me to feel you are always near

i have tried to feel like that, but Oh my love i swear

i have failed miserably trying. And when i dint hear

you voice, the world seems a lie, help me dear..

then i look at you pics, try to be in there with you

try to think what made you smile, and smile back at you

but after hours at looking at those idols, i feel stuck

in those painting, even there i run out of luck

its raining here, its cool and few might find it romantic

i feel dull here, alone, chained to these four walls

its a real perception, clouds are of smoke

its not water which is falling, Someone is crying, its cryptic

and you just called, made my day, may be i can sleep (you actually called, you are right now drinking tea)

things are brighter, colorful now, even clouds don't weep

but till when this pill can work, what effected me is a drug

but I have faith, in you, in him, one day the wait will shrug.

Just Take yourself seriously

What are the problems one could face when in the initial phases of starting something new?

• Visibility
• Credibility
• Other's Confidence
• Right People to work for you
• Right Contacts
• and finally, being taken seriously.

I have not quoted money as being one of the issues as if you have solution for the upper problems we can assume that money should not be a problem. Lets look at these problems.

Visibility. Hmmm.. How do i make myself or the firm visible in this ocean of big fishes? Name is not heard, nor is the work. Neither I have proved myself before nor have I got the chance. All I have is the inner drive which is unfortunately neither measurable nor physically visible. And when you somehow convince them about your drive to do an extreme work and cross any boundary and barrier, they will ask you, how can I be sure that you will ultimately succeed in doing so. How can you prove that you are not just any dedicated soldier who lost his life even much before the end and without knowing the end. And the worst thing is when you have to deal with the people who think they know you just too well to have complete confidence on you. Cos either they have seen you failing or baking off. Its same as proving them that this time you are 100% sure that you are in love. Then comes the people. Few you will need to work with you. And few other to work for you. You will be scared of few who you know are capable of stealing your idea or focus. And then there will be thousands you know are not suitable for working with you. And dont forget those who dont want to work for you. Not cos they dont like you. But they are waiting for you to set up the path. Make their struggle easier even before they join. Its human nature. No point blaming any one of them.

There is only one solution for all of these problems. Take yourself seriously. If you believe you can, surely you will. Patience comes next. Cos the best thing about God is, His ideas are always better then yours. And sometimes tricky to understand. Taking yourself seriously will give you all the hope and courage you will ever need. You will start talking to yourself and ensure that you are never alone. You will discuss plan with yourself to ensure there is someone who is listening to you. Your self alter-ego will have no credibility issues, neither will it demand confidence pointers. Just follow yourself and one day you will realise the world is walking behind you. But there is just one thing you should never ever forget. Dont start walking without a vision. When you start walking, you will have faint idea of what your vision is. Just like the faint light coming out from that long tunnel. Just follow that trace of light and at the end you will see you formidable sun and vision, both.

Brightening up the whole Universe a bit

How big can be the task in front of you

that its magical glory becomes inspiration

that one day you will be there, as a phenomenon

even before you are dead in indignation

the dream of making the world utopia

my burning yourself first for light

first to reach that place alive

then to see the world happier than you might

you pray to the God to give you supernatural powers

to make your version of vision right

to add in life some smiles and some flowers

to make hearts more humane and bright

yes its a dream, you will realize one day

but who knows what you might do following it

either you will burn yourself lighting up the dead world

or become a star, brightening the whole universe a bit

And far more interesting times are yet to come

I am not too far away from what i always wanted to do. Its strange how I reach till this point. "And far more interesting times are yet to come" It tool me almost 5 years to understand what I love, and finally i have started getting hint of it. Somtimes its the conditions which force you to take the risks involved and not you guts. As someone said, "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations" And thats the way it is right now. But what is more important is, I am loving what I am doing. And I am thinking what i love to think, getting outside the domain of what others want me to do. No doubt, the risk involved great, but the returns are far more amazing.

We have always lacked the spirit of making something for the world. Something others can envy about us. But the times are changing. People here too want to lead and have that confidence. Time has come when world would not mean US, but Us.

I have not seen many companies with a vision. A vision to bring change. Most of them wants to survive. Survive by earning a lot before they cease to exist. And then they dissapear, and life moves on. I have a vision. And I will lay stones based on it. Technology is getting accessible to everyone of us. And not everyone know what all they can do with it. Most of the people are just followers. Not because they cant lead. But cos they are doing something else far more imoirtant to them than deciding the course of these technologies. But in the end, market is driven by the force of the numbers of these kinds of people who are just, followers, as they are too many. And hence comes the factor which decides the adoption of your ideas. Its design. If they see your product and tell themselves "I am incomplete without it" Your work is done. Then even if you take few features out, people though will argue but wont go ahead and own one. Thats how we people are. Humans are emotional. And if they are emotional about some product? The problem of adoption is solved.

Every class of people have different needs. And unfortunately the products are designed by not every class. And it fails to meet the needs of everyone else. This is one great point. As it brings in the differentiation one needs to creat his own market. The reason behind the success of TV was the available content, and content is the reason behind its fall too. People loved to watch 'few' precious serials. And with the advent of sooo many channels, the content was just too much to decide what to watch and what not. Same thing is going to happen with the internet soon. Infact it has already begun. With more than 40 billion webpages there is just too much content to be filtered and enjoyed. And here also lie opportunity. And Google Reader tries to solve this problem a little. But again, if you have even 50 websites selected there, you will end up with 1000 feeds a day which is.. you know what it is.. insane.

But that is changing as well, but awareness would delay the adoption of good ideas, like information in time-frames. And here comes in the role of a new product or technology which understands these problems, make people realize that its their problem and how much they suffer cos of it, and then become their emotional friend.

I have a vision. Vision of taking people with series of products towards total convergence. And that what I wanted to know since last 5 years. Now when I know, i am fearless, cos i can feel, far more interesting times are yet to come.

Duh, I want to be a squirrel now

i had it in my mind..

i had it on the canvas..

only things which were missing..

were few colors and the brush...

so i thought i will sing it out...

and let everyone know what i mean...

then i realized i am alone here..

they left a note behind, "you werent seen"

then i thought.. may be i could write..

i wrote everything down, every feeling n habit

but now i dont know what do do..

coz i know, you may never read it..

and then i saw a pair of squirrels

all they knew was to run together and eat it..

they never had to know any word..

cos when one of them mean it, other could feel it..

duh, i want to be a squirrel now,

and play in sand, in rain and snow..

may be i will collect nuts and morning dew..

and one day, will bring it with me and say, I love you!

you see, any form i take, just dont wanna leave you,

but being a squirrel, may be, it will be easier for you..

and for me too, coz i just wanted to be closer..

then you may live your life, and let me die older..

i promise i will bring flowers for you..

one by one though, i cant carry much..

but i will fill that vase for you..

with colors of morning and butterfly's touch..

if i am a squirrel, i will ask ants not to touch you..

will fight with bees and steal some honey for you...

will carry your mobile if you want..

wont even ask for a nut, during nights i will collect few..

then you will never lose your earing, rings or a letter..

will try and make tea for you in every weather..

will carry a small camera with me, so when you sneeze...

i can take my photographs when i fly in that breeze :D

every time when i give you a nut,

i will feel like proposing you..

you will take them and praise my gut

and i will feel like marrying you..

and may this cycle continue forever..

and whats next i should think never..

will be so happy that you said yes everyday..

amazing isnt it!! may it be true right away!

yes, i think it will be the best for me to be...

and if i am sad, you wont be able to see..

you can marry anyone, love anyone else..

and i will still think, you are here only for me!

Honor for my country!

I am watching this serial called Boston Legal, and they mentioned, Supreme Court. The supreme court of America.. It was one of their best episodes.. They showed such awe for that institution.. such respect that i started to wonder.. did i ever showed such respect or felt awe for anything i have seen or observed or knew about in this country? Ever for my ancestors.. the freedom fighters.. the institutions which run this country of more than a billion? I looked around any saw i am not alone. I was depressed for a while.. and i think will remain sad for that part of me and my people around me. It is embarrassing to think of living in an environment where I don't have anyone to look up to.. The president, the PM everyone around me have been made look so normal, so local so questionable that I see them as normal people. One might argue.. in the end they are local people.. but should they be? Should they not generate respect? the charm so enthralling that i should be proud that they are leading me? A confidence in them when i look in their eyes which will tell me my future generations are going to remember me because I lived in those times when these leader were alive and changing world around us! I felt sad for more reasons i cant summarize right now.. might be its because I see myself doing something great in future and still see people around me questioning me.. doubting me.. loosing confidence time and again.. Its much more than respect of which i am talking of, and much different from blind faith.. I can just hope that someone else will also realize this feeling and then someone else.. and one of them will put it in better words and make more people understand that what i am talking of is a feeling, not different from the feeling of a fatherless child.

Written on July 23, 2002

For once, just once.... say you loved me..
Not much.. but sometimes you missed me..
I prayed, I cried, I breathe for you..
I died every minute, then got alive for you...

Meet me just once, before I die..
And just before I leave you, please cry..
God will send you rain, from heaven, from my eye..
Whenever you want it.. to enjoy and forget this shy..

Oh dear, my life, my love, please say..
The castle which you somehow broke away..
Was a fault, but now you understand me..
Even for a lie, for once, say now you love me..

Even for a lie, if you say, you thought of me once..
I promise I will never miss you..
And, if you can read the lips of the silence..
Like a brush of air, I will kiss you..